


It's Cold Outside

by Anytha



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, SecretSanta challenge, academy au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 17:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2819906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anytha/pseuds/Anytha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A snowstorm is about to hit the Academy as the holidays approach. Fitz and Simmons decide to go to a party to relax but a misunderstanding forces them to analyze their unsaid feelings and understand what they mean to each other. FS-SecretSanta for leopoldfitzsimmons</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Snowed in at the Academy.
> 
> For: leopoldfitzsimmons. You asked for angst so I tried to put in as much as I can. The story sort of grew on its own and I had to split in two chapters. The next one will be out before Christmas. I hope you enjoy your gift. :)
> 
> So, this is my assignment for the FitzSimmons-SecretSanta challenge. Hope you like it... ;)
> 
> An enormous thanks to Starrydreamer01 who's the best beta in the world and has to deal with my writing insanity. I'd be lost without her. :)

* * *

“FitzSimmons!”

 

The two young cadets turned as one, stopping halfway through their argument in the middle of the hallway. Actually, they were bickering: they always bickered while working on a project and they were about to finish one.

Fitz wondered if this was one of the fundamental ground rules that made them work so well. From the moment they were partnered together, during the first half of their first semester, they had always spent most of their time in the lab bickering about how to do something and the remaining time was them actually building, writing and finishing their works.

And somehow this created some of the most brilliant works Sci-tech had ever seen.

The Scottish cadet looked down the hall and saw a girl walking towards them; he recognised her as one of the biologists living in Simmons' dorm, Caroline Garner. His partner saw her and smiled slightly.

“Hello, Caroline,” she greeted. “How are you?”

“Hey, Jemma. Fitz,” Garner nodded at both with a smile. “Well, I'm doing great: I just found out that Vaughn cancelled his class tomorrow.”

“He did?” Simmons asked, shifting her bag up on her shoulder. “That means that there aren't any classes left now, are there?”

“Honestly... I have no idea,” Garner shrugged. “But I'm happy to be free from his lecture.”

Fitz had to hide a chuckle when he saw Simmons' aghast look at the other girl's words. His partner thoroughly loved studying and doing her homework.

He looked outside the window: it was almost six and already dark. He saw that it was snowing. Again.

They were approaching Christmas and a big snowstorm had been announced. It was meant to hit the Academy and its surrounding area sometime tomorrow and as a precaution, Director Weaver had asked that all the teachers cancel or postpone their lessons and lectures until after the holidays.

Most of the teachers had agreed -not Professor Vaughn, but he was a stubborn old git- and a good part of the cadets had left Sci-Tech earlier to go home before the semester ended and their two weeks of vacation started.

Fitz couldn't wait to go home and see his Mum; he loved to spend the holidays with her in their little house in Glasgow while it snowed outside and they were inside listening to old Christmas songs and eating a piece of warm pie. It was something they had done every year since he was a child.

He had booked a flight for the day before Christmas Eve and he had tried to re-book for an earlier time once he saw that he didn't have classes but it was too expensive. Thankfully, Simmons was staying until the 23 rd  as well and they decided to work on one of their end of the year projects which would allow them to graduate in spring.

He shot a glance at his partner who was still idly chatting with the other girl, taking in her smiling face and bright eyes.

Fitz wondered if she was delaying her flight on purpose; he was sure that she could afford to re-book and take an earlier plane to Sheffield. He was sure that her parents would be glad to have her home early and wouldn’t mind paying a little more on the ticket to allow that.

There was a part of him that wondered if she was staying back for him so that he wouldn’t be alone before leaving for Scotland. And before they parted for two weeks.

The mere thought that she might be doing this for him made something clench in his chest. He knew that Simmons cared for him: she was his best friend (something that still astonished him even after a year). And -he  _ still  _ couldn’t believe it.

But every now and then, his mind would wander and he would think of the possibility of being something more. He wondered about the way his heart would twist when she looked at him sometimes or when she smiled.

He wondered if Simmons had  _ ever _ thought of him as-

 

“Fitz?”

 

He looked up and found Simmons staring at him, eyebrows furrowed while Garner looked amused. He blushed slightly, realising that he was caught day-dreaming.

“Yeah?” He asked, stepping closer to Simmons’ side. He realised that the two girls were looking at him expectantly.

“Were you even listening?” Simmons queried, eyes still trained on him.

“Er- Well... Not really,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head. Simmons rolled her eyes while Garner giggled, making Fitz blush more. “What were you saying?”

“I was telling Jemma-” Garner nodded at his partner. “-that there's a party at the Boiler Room tonight. Some sort of Christmas/End-of-the-year thing for all the cadets that are still here at Sci-Tech.” The blonde girl smiled broadly. “Are you coming?”

Fitz had to force himself not to shake his head vehemently and refuse. He never liked parties and very crowded places and the Boiler Room were the epitome of both.

Moreover, he couldn't even get  _ anything  _ to drink because he was still a minor in this country.  _ Stupid laws _ , he thought,  _ I'm nineteen, for God's sake _ !

“It will be fun, Fitz!” Garner cajoled him, batting her lashes and smiling again. He blushed, feeling more than a little uncomfortable at her attention.

Less than a year ago, he wouldn’t have minded attempting to try (and probably fail… but whatever…) to flirt with a girl but now…

Fitz threw a glance at his side and saw Simmons staring at him curiously. He shot her a small, wry smile, trying to ignore the little twist in his chest as she smiled back.

He hadn't really paid attention to any girl since he'd known Simmons. It was all vague looks and inner comments...but nothing more.

Simmons had taken his full and total focus. It wasn't surprising, really. She was easily the brightest person and, also, one of the prettiest girls he had ever met. Though he really shouldn't be noticing the last part...

He often wondered if he was heading down a road that could destroy him and their friendship at some point but he promptly ignored his fears.

 

So much for being named after the brave lion...

 

“It could be fun, Fitz,” Simmons remarked, making him look up and forget his self-imprecations. “It wouldn't be bad to relax...”

“ And what happened to ' _ Fitz, we have to finish Professor Miller's report immediately! _ '”

Simmons rolled her eyes at his attempt to mimic her voice.

“We just have the bibliography and the last editing to do,” she remarked, straightening her bag's strap on her shoulder. “I'm sure we'll have it done by tomorrow since neither have class now.”

“Yeah...” he agreed. “We could finish it in the afternoon and-”

“-send it to Professor Miller by the evening? Yes and-”

“-we'd also have time to give the final touches to the DWARFs. That would allow us to work on our other projects during the holidays.”

“Exactly! And we could try working on-”

 

“Er-Hello? Earth to FitzSimmons?”

 

They turned again to look at Garner who had a bemused look. Fitz realised that they'd literally forgotten about the other girl and had got lost in their own world, filled with science and lab work and projects; he wondered when all of his academic interests had started to include and revolve around Simmons so much.

“Sorry,” they mumbled together and Garner chuckled.

“ I've been around you two enough to get used to  _ that _ ,” She vaguely waved a hand at them. “So, are you coming tonight to celebrate?”

Fitz let out a deep breath and glanced at Simmons who nodded with a smile and then looked at him. She arched a brow, lips still quirked upward and seemed to be clearly asking him to come.

He grimaced slightly and she rolled her eyes before leaning closer to him.

“It will be fun, Fitz,” she whispered.

“You know that I don't-” he protested softly.

“-like crowded and raucous places, yeah, but it's a party and...” She smiled softly. “I swear I won't leave your side the entire time.”

Something fluttered in Fitz's chest. He'd be perfectly happy if she never left his side. He nodded slowly and her smile widened.

“So, you'll come?”

“Yeah,” he replied, smiling slightly at her enthusiasm. “Since you asked so nicely...” His teasing earned him a small nose scrunch from her and he grinned.

Checking his watch, Fitz realised that he had to go and meet his Robotics lab professor for his end of semester project.

“I've got to see Professor Kido,” he said, looking at his partner. “Text you later?”

Simmons nodded.

“Dinner at 8?” She asked and he nodded.

“You choose where,” he said and smiled at her. “See you later. Bye Garner.”

He walked away, feeling surprisingly elated to spend the rest of the evening and night with his best friend and not only for studying.

 

Now, if he could only force his heart to stop fluttering around his chest...

 

-:-

  
  


Jemma's stare followed her partner as he walked down the corridor and disappeared from sight. The smile lingered on her face as she thought about the places near campus where they could eat something  together before going to the Boiler Room.

 

“And you keep saying that you two are not together? Seriously?”

 

Jemma turned around abruptly and found Caroline staring at her with a smirk.

“I've told you a thousand times,” she said. “Fitz and I are friends.”

“ Sure... I have breakfast, lunch  _ and  _ dinner with a friend every day.”

“We have classes and labs together. It's perfectly norma-”

“And you spend every free moment together.”

“ We're  _ best friends _ .”

“What about right now? I asked Fitz to come to tonight and he looked disgusted at the mere thought. You ask him and he's accepted immediately.”

“That's because we-” Jemma faltered as Caroline shot her a look that made her blush. The blonde girl’s smirk widened.

“How long will it take the two of you to realise that you’re basically dating while acting as friends?” She queried, tossing her long strands behind her back with a casual flick of her hand as they walked down the hallway towards the main entrance and then to their dorm. It was a routine that they had in the rare occasions when she and Fitz didn’t share a class. Caroline’s room was next to Jemma’s and the older girl had decided to take the young biochemist under her wing from the moment they’d first met.

It also seemed that her sisterly attitude extended to teasing and gossiping as well...

“Let's hurry,” Caroline stated, closing her coat around her body and putting on some gloves. “It's only a flutter now: we've got to rush to our dorm before it starts snowing hard again.”

Jemma nodded, buttoning her coat and slipping on a pair of blue gloves. A gift, she suddenly remembered as her boots scrunched through the thick layer of snow on the ground, that Fitz had given her for Christmas last year.

She still remembered the little warm feeling in her chest when he bashfully gave her the gift, carefully wrapped in silver paper.

Jemma ducked her head, hoping that her hair and the dim lights around the campus would hide her furious blush. She had been hearing the words implicating a relationship between them for almost a year, ever since she and Fitz had become friends and started spending time together. And every single time, she had denied that there was something more than a very strong friendship.

It irked her that nobody truly believed them whenever they said ‘No, we’re friends’ in identical tones of disbelief, at first, and then of annoyance. But now, she noticed, embarrassment coloured their voices.

And, in her case, the smallest hint of hesitance.

Jemma busied herself with her scarf, tightening it around her neck when a cold gust of wind hit her face along with a few snowflakes.

She was also unsure whether her feelings were the same as before.

It was true that they were always together. It had come to a point that Jemma definitely felt the difference if Fitz wasn't by her side. She was used to having his Scottish voice finishing her sentences, complaining about something or just talking to her.

It was the first time that she was so deeply connected to someone, let alone a boy.

Jemma had had a few boyfriends in the past before coming to the Academy and she never shared this connection with them; there had been physical interest and she liked their minds but no one had ever challenged her.

Fitz was easily the most interesting person she had ever met.

And the fact that he was her age, from the UK and had a boyish charm that stealthily sneaked up on her was a rather lovely bonus.

Jemma blushed again and shook her head. She shouldn't be thinking of him like that: he was her best friend and lab partner. He was the only person that understood her thoroughly.

But some part of her heart was telling her that he was also a lot more than that and suggestive thoughts appeared in her head.

It happened so often lately that Jemma was finding it difficult to focus.

_ It's just a crush _ , she told herself, trying to gather her wits.  _ A small crush over my male best friend _ .

But she knew that there was something else even when she deluded herself. She and Fitz shared something that went deeper and if she wasn't so scared to attempt to change their relationship, she would try to explore that road with him.

Fitz wasn't some odd boy she found appealing for his body and that she could go out with and then stop seeing without any other thought.

 

Fitz was...  _ Fitz _ .

 

The thought of doing anything that could ruin their relationship just terrified her.

Jemma wondered if he shared her own doubts. She knew he cared for her; he didn't show it openly as she might have but there were the little things he did that just showed how much he cared.

The gloves that he'd given her last Christmas were an example. They'd known each other for a couple of months but it seemed as though they been friends for years.

She really didn't have time to go and buy another pair of gloves with the hectic schedule at the Academy; she had been meaning to wear her old pair even though the wool had thinned out and wait until she was back home to buy a new pair.

Fitz had noticed and had given her a brand new and really nice looking blue set of gloves. It was something that she might have bought if she had seen it first.

And he surprised her because she hadn't thought of giving him anything; she had hugged him impulsively and stammered an apology that he waved away.

She had spent a good part of her holidays looking for a good gift for him and finally settled on a stuffed monkey that wore a tie.

Fitz had been incredibly happy by the gift... Jemma still smiled as she recalled his face.

“What's got you all smiley now?” Caroline’s voice broke her reverie and abruptly forced Jemma to realise that she was almost at their dorm and that she had been lost in her thoughts for more than ten minutes.

“N-Nothing,” she said, trying not to show that she'd been thinking about her best friend the whole time.

“ _ Sure _ ,” the older girl drawled with a teasing smile. Jemma cursed her inability to lie and her blushing face as they walked inside the dorm and were greeted by a burst of warm air and a small crowd gathered in the common hallway.

“Hey!”

Both girls looked up and Jemma failed to hide a frown at the sight of Jordan Walkers.

He was a Biology cadet a a few years older than her just like Caroline. He was quite good looking with broad shoulders, a squared jaw and a rather symmetrical body. She had accepted to go out with him last year and they had shared a few kisses and a few brushed touches.

Jemma had soon decided not to go out with him again when she realised that he wasn't very pleasant to talk to and that he was a bit obnoxious.

Unfortunately, Jordan didn't seem to take the hint. He'd been pestering Jemma whenever he caught her alone in the dorm.

Thankfully, they didn't share classes together (Jemma had long passed the classes he was taking) and she never saw him when she was with Fitz. She hadn’t told Fitz anything about their very brief affair. It had occurred before they’d known each other and Jemma would likely never want to tell him about her lack of judgement in dating the older boy: she was still embarrassed by it.

Moreover, she and Fitz talked about everything but they had never openly spoke about their previous dating experiences.

Jemma found herself immensely reluctant to learn about the girls that might have kissed or done more with her partner. The mere thought made something acidic coil in her stomach.

She didn't linger on that. It was only protectiveness, right?

“Hey, Jordan,” Caroline greeted him with a nod and steering Jemma towards the stairs to their rooms as they shook snowflakes off their hair and clothes. She knew that they two of them had gone out and that the boy still bothered her. “What's with all the people out here?”

“Didn't you hear? Weaver wants to put all the cadets that are still in campus in the same dorms rather than scattered around for the next couple of days. You know, for the storm: it's a safety measure.”

“All? Where the hell...?” Caroline looked around in disbelief. “Here?!”

“The biology wing is the largest and the closest to the main campus buildings,” Jordan joined them at the stairs. “Besides, there aren't really a lot of cadets around: most of the classes have been cancelled and they're all back home. I mean... Our wing is half empty already.” He pointed to the group of cadets downstairs. “The guys over there are from Physics: they have a lab tomorrow morning and Professor Hayton wouldn't cancel it.”

“ Oh, so there's someone  _ worse  _ than Professor Vaughn,” Caroline remarked with a wince. Jemma shared her sentiments.

“Since you're so informed, who else is coming over?”

“I think some from the Engineering wing: Mech cadets, I think. I've heard that they're the only ones left: all the other cadets have gone back home.”

Jemma looked up at that, giving the boy a bit of attention after having ignored him until now. Fitz was still in his dorm although he didn't have classes.

“Are they going to close the dorm?” She asked. Jordan looked at her and grinned, making her cringe internally.

“Well, it won't be locked down but I think they'll cut the heating and reduce the power supply. It should all be conveyed here.” He stepped closer. “You don't have to worry: it not dangerous or anything.” Jemma wanted to scoff at him and roll her eyes at his condescending tone.

“It happens every year and all the cadets usually merge into a dorm: this year Weaver is doing it for us. It’s going to be a blast: movies, drinks, food… A party night and day.” 

“Er... right,” she remarked , stepping back as Jordan approached her. “I-I think I'll...”

“Yeah, let's go upstairs,” Caroline agreed, pushing her up the stairs.

“Will you be at the Boiler Room tonight?” Jordan asked. “I'll be there, you know: last shift of the year.”

“Yeah...” Caroline absently waved a hand at him. “See you later, Jordan.” Once they were in their hallway, she huffed. “God, he talks so much. He's been like this since our first year: that why he knows half the campus. That and the fact that he works in the Boiler Room.”

Jemma hummed, pulling out her phone and door card-key.

“Seriously... how did you even hook up with him?” Caroline queried.

“We didn't-”

“I know... I was just saying...” The blonde rolled her eyes. “Sometimes, I forget that you're still a kid.”

“I'm not a-”

“ You  _ are _ . That's why you should hook up with Fitz: you'd make an adorable couple of genius kids.”

Jemma blushed.

“I'm not going to reply to that statement,” she mumbled. “It's just ridiculous.”

“Are you going to ask him to come over?” Jemma looked up at her friend.

“What?”

“Fitz. Are you going to ask him to come over here?” Caroline asked. “If he comes with the other cadets, he'll probably end up in one of the empty rooms with someone. You could have him in your room. I know you've shared already.”

Jemma nodded slowly, failing to hear the teasing tone in the other girl's words.

There had been times when Fitz had stayed in her room after late study nights where they'd all but collapsed on bed, too tired to move. She had fallen asleep in his room a few times too; the wake up and following walk out of his room under the stares of the other engineering cadets still made her blush.

Fitz had always been incredibly awkward in those moments. He kept to his side of the bed, careful not to touch her but in the morning, somehow, they were closer and slightly entangled.

Jemma had always been an early riser and she always spent a few minutes to observe him.

She tried not to linger on the image of a fast-asleep Fitz with messy curls and a relaxed face or the slightly sleepy Fitz with dark, hooded eyes and a gentle smile.

She didn't want to linger on the thought that she liked waking up to find him there with her...

Shaking her head slightly to dispel her sudden thoughts, Jemma unlocked her phone and sent Fitz a text.

 

[Fitz – 17:47]: All cadets are being sent to the Bio-dorm because of the storm. Do you want to come over and stay with me? Unless you want to share a room with a stranger?

 

She smiled slightly, knowing that he'd be horrified to share a room with someone he didn't know...

“You know, if you don't want Fitz with you, he can stay with me.”

Jemma looked up abruptly, eyes wide, and saw Caroline staring at her with a small smile.

“What?” She asked, the blonde’s green eyes took an innocent look. 

“ He's always nice and..he does have that nerdy, boyish look that's sort of cute.” She shrugged slightly. “You wouldn't care, would you? Since you're only  _ friends _ .”

“Er- No-no.”

“Good,” She swiped her key and entered her room. “See you later, Jemma.”

The biochemist stared, an odd, hot feeling bubbling inside her and just nodded with a weak smile.

Caroline was just teasing her, right?

She never showed any sort of interest towards Fitz...besides the teasing. Could she have been flirting with him? Jemma might be confident of her looks and knowledge but she was horrible in understanding these sort of interactions.

The thought of Fitz and Caroline made her feel... She couldn't describe it but she didn't like it.

Sighing slightly, Jemma opened her door and walked inside her room.

 

-

 

A few hours later, Jemma opened the door and smiled broadly at her best friend.

He'd answered her text with a string of alarmed emoticons and promptly said that he'd accept her hospitality as long as he wasn't burdening her.

It had taken Jemma a couple more texts (with more than an eye roll for his attitude) to convince him that he wasn't burdening her, she was glad to help him and ' _ No, Fitz, you don't need to bring a sleeping bag _ '.

He thanked her and suggested he buy dinner on his way to her room. When he arrived, carrying his backpack and a few bags filled with cartons of food, Jemma was content to have him there.

When he took off his coat, she blinked and stared a few minutes: he'd changed for their night out. She was used to see him in jeans and jumpers or plaid shirts, not in dark trousers, a blue shirt and striped tie. She wasn't used to seeing his eyes stand out more, incredibly blue and lighting up when he smiled at her, looking slightly confused.

 

_ Right...Best friends, remember? _

 

“ Let's eat, yeah?” She said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and trying not to stare ( _ again _ ).

“Sure,” he replied and started pulling out the cartons.

Jemma sighed softly through her teeth.

 

Her confused feelings were messing with her mind. She just had to relax and put them back in order and everything will be alright...

 

Right?

-:-

 

The Biology wing was the closest to the Boiler Room and yet the short walk was incredibly harsh under the snow and freezing wind.

Simmons had curled up against his side, arm wrapped tightly against his arm as she shivered slightly.

“You’re unnaturally warm,” she stated, face half buried in her scarf.

“You’re unnaturally frigid,” he retorted, shifting slightly so that her hand was tucked in the crook of his elbow. She always suffered the cold and even the many layers provided by her scarf, coat, gloves and hat didn’t seem to help her.

Once they entered the Boiler Room, he stomped his feet on the ground to get rid of the snow caked unders his heavy winter shoes; he noticed that the beginning of the hallway leading to the Boiler Room was covered by a layer of film, held down by metallic clasps, that gave off a dull red light. Fitz recognized a prototype that he had seen in the labs and that had been developed by a group of Physics cadets: a film that was structured with polymers and thermal agents that allowed it to stabilize at a given temperature. It was quite ingenious to use it now: they could test the effects of continuous pressure on the material along with its resistance while allowing the hallway not to be flooded by melted snow and turn into a slippery nightmare.

Once he shook off the snow from his jacket, Fitz felt warm air on his body and felt the dampness on his hair and face start to dry.

He heard Simmons sigh in relief by his side as warmth enveloped them.

He turned to look at her, ready to tease her but the words died in his mouth ( _ again _ ) as she shrugged off her coat, exposing the simple charcoal wool dress she was wearing over a pair of thick stockings ( _ Leggings, Fitz _ , she had explained him before). It was so simple and yet so much.. her.

He'd never seen her wearing a dress before and it was doing terrible things to his mind and heart. He had always thought that Simmons was pretty: he had to be blind not to notice actually. But right now, wearing that simple dress that hugged the curves that she rarely exposed and with her hair tumbling in soft curls down her shoulders, she looked stunning.

A few boys nearby looked at her appreciatively and Fitz had to forcibly ignore the coiling in his stomach followed by the urge to bash the blokes' heads in.

He was just protective. Simmons was his best friend and was a girl: he was just protective.

He was  _ desperately  _ hoping that he was just protective and not falling for his partner.

Simmons folded her coat in her arms and smiled at him, making his heart jump in his chest. She reached for his wrist and pulled him towards the entrance.

“Come on, Fitz,” she said softly. He nodded at her with a smile and followed her inside.

 

-

The Boiler Room was crowded, there was music blasting from the speakers, people dancing and bumping against each other and pretty much everything else that he hated all in one place.

But Simmons was right beside him, sitting at an empty table they had managed to find and where they had placed their coats and he forgot about the reasons he didn't want to be there. They'd been idly talking about one of their projects, their end of semester Holographic Engineering assignment, when a waiter approached them and jovially slapped a hand on Fitz's shoulder, startling him.

“Hey, man,” the boy greeted him with a grin and Fitz looked up and blinked. He quickly recognised a fellow engineering cadet, Edward Blight. He was probably one of the few cadets in his dorm with whom he talked and that he actually liked.

“Blight, hey...” He said, straightening up and smiling slightly. “Haven't seen you in a while.”

“Of course you haven't seen me. I've been holed in the lab working on the Aerodynamic Robotics project for weeks!” He grinned again. “If I don't mess it up, I'll be able to graduate and get into Sci-Ops in summer.”

“That's great!” Fitz remarked enthusiastically. Blight was a rather brilliant electronic engineer with a fascination for aircraft and they had met in their Aerodynamics class. If anyone had deserved to get into Sci-Ops for his hard work, it was Blight.

“You helped me loads, Fitz,” the older boy said. “You found that glitch in my bot and helped me correct it on my blueprint... It was insane!” He turned to look at Jemma with a grin. “This guy saved me from probably flunking a class by finding an error that no one else would have found in a miniature robot.”

Simmons grinned at him and looked at Fitz

“He does that often, yes...” she remarked with a look that made Fitz blush. She then held out her hand. “Oh, I'm-”

“ -Jemma Simmons, I know. Pleasure to meet you, I'm Edward Blight.” he said, shaking her hand and smiling at her surprised look. “Of course, I know you. Hell, the whole  _ Academy  _ knows about FitzSimmons: if he's here, you're here and vice versa.”

Fitz blinked.  _ Really? Everyone thought this? _

He glanced at Simmons and she looked just as surprised as he was.

“Besides...” Blight continued. “Even if I lived under a rock and didn't know about the genius Brit kids, he talks about you constantly when we’re working together on my bot.” He pointed at Fitz who blushed again.

“Wh-what?” He stammered. “That's not-”

“Really?” Simmons asked in return and that made him blush again.

“ I might have mentioned you...” He confessed, scratching the back of his head. “We were busy working on Snow at the time.” And he didn't talk about her  _ constantly _ . He might have said her name a few times while he and Blight were in the lab, working out the mechanics of his device.

Alright, maybe he  _ had  _ mentioned her more when he started recalling their own experiments while creating their little drone, the first of eight identical bots.

It wasn't his fault really if they worked on everything together and their ideas were brilliant.

Or if she was always in his thoughts...

He looked at her and found her staring at him, amber eyes bright and a soft smile playing on her face. Fitz had to remind himself that he shouldn't be staring or thinking of his best friend in that way.

He was slowly coming to realise that he was single handedly dooming his heart to a miserable existence.

“Right...” Blight drawled but thankfully didn't elaborate further. “So, what are you ordering?”

Fitz frowned and gestured to the glasses of water before them.

“We can't order anything else,” he said with an eye roll. “Being underage and all...”

“It's rather ridiculous, really...” Simmons added in an equally annoyed tone.

Blight stared at them.

“No wait... You guys drink?” He asked in disbelief and they both nodded.

“Yeah, I've had a beer back home.” 

“Me too.”

The older cadet looked at them thoughtfully and then scribbled down something on his notepad. “Alright... I'll get you two beers. I still owe you, Fitz. Let's say that this is a minimal repayment.”

Before either could say more, Blight winked and walked away to another table.

“Did he just-?” Simmons asked, looking at Fitz and he nodded, a small grin coming to his face.

“ -get us free drinks? He did,” he said. “I never thought that I'd say it but there  _ are _ some perks in helping a senior cadet.”

“ Of course you'd say  _ that _ ,” Simmons teased him, laughing slightly. He laughed along with her.

They looked around, chatting idly as they waited their drinks and Fitz started feeling more at ease. He had to admit that she was right: they did need to relax a bit. They'd been studying relentlessly in the last moments so that they could acquire all the credits to graduate early.

Fitz felt a wave of pride when he thought about it. They were the youngest cadets to be enrolled at Sci-Tech and they were going to be the youngest to graduate.

No one had done that before them.

The names Fitz and Simmons (or FitzSimmons as people called them now) were going to linger at the Academy even after they were gone. Together as a sole unit.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He turned and saw Simmons looking at him, head tilted to the side. He smiled.

“ Just thinking about...”  _ Us _ . “FitzSimmons.”

“I never realised that we'd be so well known,” she admitted, clasping her hands together and resting her chin on them. “It's a bit startling really...”

“Startling?”

“Well, there are people that know who we are and we don’t know them,” she explained.

“Does it bother you?” He wondered if she didn’t like it after all, to be constantly associated with him. Something must have shown on his face because she blinked and smiled kindly.

“I’m not bothered by that, Fitz,” she remarked. “I’m more than happy to be a part of FitzSimmons.” He failed to hide the smile on his face and ignored the way his heart fluttered around his chest as she said that. “It just surprises me when random strangers know who I am. Although…” She grinned. “How many people have mistook us for one person and were really surprised when they saw that we were two?”

He laughed. 

“Too many,” he agreed and she laughed with him.

Fitz caught a glimpse of Blight walking over with a tray and two beer bottles. He arched a brow when another waiter approached him, seemingly asking to bring them their drinks instead but the engineer cadet shook his head with a smile. The other boy turned to leave, frowning slightly and casting a look at their table. He looked vaguely familiar...

“ Isn’t that a cadet from your dorm?” Fitz asked, jutting his chin towards Blight. Simmons looked up and he saw a shadow cross her face for a second. He blinked.  _ What-? _

“Yes… He’s in Biology,” she replied absently, tucking her hair behind her ear. “He’s in Caroline’s year.”

“Oh… That’s why he looked familiar,” he remarked with a shrug. “I must have seen him when I come over to your room.”

Simmons hummed in agreement but he could clearly see that something was bothering her. He wondered if he had said or done something wrong…

Blight brought them their beers with a grin and quickly left to serve other tables. Fitz handed a bottle to Simmons and smiled slightly.

“Cheers?” He said, holding up his own bottle. She smiled at him.

“Cheers,” she said, gently knocking their beers together.

He relaxed again when she took a sip, smile still on her face. Fitz wondered when his mood and happiness depended on Simmons' well being.

For some reason, he realised drinking his beer, he didn't mind it.

 

-:-

 

They sat at their table for another while, sipping their beers and chatting mindlessly. Jemma chuckled at something Fitz had said and drank her American beer (she liked the British kind more but it wasn't too terrible) and allowed the light buzz of alcohol to tingle her nerves. It wasn't strong but the feeling was good and it made her relax.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Jordan serving a nearby table and she newly felt the rush of annoyance in seeing him and the little bit of nervousness that he would approach her while she was with Fitz.

Jemma didn't want her partner to know about her and the obnoxious biologist. She didn't want him to look at her oddly (or worse with disappointment) and consider her shallow like so many other girls that just went with boys for their good looks.

She wasn't like that...

Jemma could appreciate a well-formed and symmetrical body but it wasn't everything for her. When she came to the Academy, she was elated to be there, eager to learn more.

But she'd also been lonely.

She had made a couple of friends and even more acquaintances but she couldn't help but feel estranged. She knew people who liked her and accepted her (like Caroline) but not one of them understood her. No one knew what she could be feeling, to be barely eighteen in a campus where everyone else was over twenty years old.

When she heard about the Scottish cadet that was her age, she had felt a sliver of hope and had been adamant to meet him. She had expected them to bond immediately.

Jemma put her beer down and stole a glance at Fitz who was looking around the Boiler Room. He looked more at ease now and seemed to be enjoying himself: she couldn't help the smile that crept on her face.

Fitz had completely ignored her at the beginning: she was pretty sure that he’d considered her a rival or, worse, hated her. She would never admit it loudly but there had been a part of her that expected him to notice her and come over to introduce himself.

The less rational and pretty-girl-used-to-attention-side (a  _ very _ hidden side) of her character expected the boy to notice her and talk to her. She really didn't think that he'd ignore her.

His indifference coupled with her lingering loneliness had made her vulnerable; that's why she surrendered to Jordan's constant attentions and agreed to go out a few times.

But after she and Fitz had been partnered together and they became friends, Jemma barely noticed the other boys. No one was as interesting as Fitz.

She silently wondered if she should ready herself for a definite heartache...

Fitz turned and caught her stare. He arched a brow, quirking his lips.

“What?” He asked and she shrugged slightly.

“Nothing, just wondering,” she replied with a smile. He didn't look convinced but he didn't ask her anything else.

“Where's Garner?” He asked a few moments later. “I thought she'd meet us after she'd harassed us to come tonight.”

“She left before you came over with some friends,” Jemma replied, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach as he mentioned the older biologist. Caroline’s words still echoed in her brain making her heart twist.

If Fitz was interested in the blonde, Jemma couldn't really do anything about it, could she? They were partners and friends and... that was that.

He never showed any explicit interest towards her more than friendship. And she might have been mistaking his care and gentleness for something more because she was confused about her own feelings. She could be mistaking his soft looks for something that wasn't really there...

Although.. she had seen him look bothered when other boys looked at her. She still had to understand why she was annoyed when he was on the receiving end of some other girl's glance.

She'd deemed it as protectiveness... but was it just that?

Could it be that she-?

“Simmons?”

Jemma looked up and found a pair of concerned blue eyes staring at her. She swallowed dryly and blinked.

“Y-yes?”

“Are you alright?” Fitz leaned forward, mouth twisting slightly in a small frown. “You've gone silent on me. What's wrong?”

She wanted to reassure him that nothing was wrong and that she was perfectly fine with him; she wanted to say that everything would be fine as long as he was there.

What she didn't know how to explain was that she never wanted him to leave and that she wanted to understand what her confused feelings meant.

With him.

Letting out a shaky breath, Jemma smiled in what she hoped was a convincing way and shook her head.

“ It's nothing, Fitz,” she said softly. “I was just lost in my thoughts.”  _ About you. _ “ Don't worry.”

He didn't look convinced and she had to fight the sudden desire to lean forward and ease the little worry lines from his face with her fingers.

He was never prone to physical contact and she was probably the only one he allowed to touch him but a shared hug during birthdays or before leaving for the holidays, the occasional brushed touches in the lab and when they hung out together didn't allow her to caress his face.

It was something intimate...  _ Not  _ friendly.

She had to get a grip on herself.

“I'll go to the loo,” she said, standing up. “Wait for me here, yeah?”

He looked at her oddly and she smiled uncertainly. He nodded slowly and shrugged.

“Of course, I'm not going anywhere without you,” he replied. Jemma smiled again and walked through the crowd, trying to stop her fluttering heart which had heard the words in a different way than her head had.

 

-:-

 

Fitz watched Simmons disappear in the crowd and wondered about her sudden change of mood. He went through their conversation, dissecting their dialogues and looking for something that he might have said to upset her but came up empty.

He finished his beer and noticed that the Boiler Room was suddenly bustling with activity. People were huddling together and talking animatedly.

Wondering what was happening, Fitz was almost on his feet to ask what was going on when the biology cadet that he'd seen talking to, Blight, appeared in front of him.

“Hey, you're Fitz, right?” He asked out of the blue. “Engineering cadet, Leopold Fitz?”

“Yeah and... just Fitz is fine,” A frown made it's way on Fitz' face. “And... you are...?”

“Jordan Walkers, Environmental Biology,” he grinned, showing off white teeth that would be perfect for a toothpaste advertisement. He thrust out his hand and Fitz shook it, wondering what was going on.

“Good,” he stated. “Er-How can I help you?”

“Look man, I'm going to be really blunt,” the boy said, looking at him. “You're Jemma's lab partner, right?”

“Yes..”

“Okay and...are you and Jemma dating?”

Fitz' brows reached his hairline. Walkers grinned again.

“I know, man, but there are a lot of rumours about you two...”

“Er... no, no.. We're not,” Fitz replied, ignoring the voice in his head that whispered that they could be if he ever worked out the courage to sort out his feelings.

“No? Good!” Walkers literally beamed at him and Fitz felt something coil in his stomach. Here was another bloke who had his eyes on Simmons.

Fitz blinked when he realised that the other boy had referred to her by her first name. Fitz rarely called her by her given name even though she never said anything against it. He started calling her Simmons when he realised that calling her Jemma felt too much at times.

He didn't want to tempt himself by being too close and intimate with her.

Ignoring the sinking feeling in his chest, Fitz stared at the boy in front of him. He was different from him: sturdier, taller and with the looks that would make girls swoon.

He had never seen Simmons being obvious about her tastes in men but he  _ had  _ noticed the random looks she'd give; this bloke looked like her type.

“Do you- You know her well?” Fitz asked, clenching his hands.

“Oh, well, yeah. You know, we went out together and sort of clicked,” Walkers leaned forward in a conspiratorial way. “She's cute and kisses pretty well and I wouldn't mind going a bit further than second base... I wanted to ask her out again but I think she's shy. She never lets me talk to her.”

Fitz felt as though he'd been doused by an icy shower.

He stopped listening to the other boy's rambling and just focused on the few lines that had made his heart plummet  to the floor.

Had Simmons been seeing Walkers without telling him anything? For how long?

He tried not to think about the implications of Walkers’ words but his mind started to create scenarios that he didn't want to imagine.

Walker didn’t seem to notice his sudden silence and continued to talk.

“Where’s Jemma by the way? I hope not outside: it looked like it was going to stop snowing when I got here but now there are at least a couple of inches of snow on the ground!” He looked around the room. “People are going back to the Bio-dorm and trying to leave campus ASAP. They’ve heard rumours that some flights have been canceled and if it gets worse, that might really happen to all flights.”

Fitz barely realised that an eventual delay of cancel of his flight would mean that he’d be here in America and not home with his mother but his mind was focused on other things.

He was vaguely aware of the fact that people were leaving the Boiler Room; not all but a good amount and he heard murmurs of packing up quickly or sharing a cab to the airport.

“Gotta tidy up and see what we can do later at the dorm. Last year, we managed to set up a gigantic TV-screen in the common room and some of the engineers made this really cool octopus-like grill in the kitchen where you could roast lines of marshmallows together.” Walkers clapped a hand on his shoulder as though they'd been friends for ages and hadn't just met. “Well, I gotta go. Maybe you could come and help us and build a device to spike hot chocolate in one go.” He grinned and walked away, leaving Fitz alone.

He stood there, shell-shocked and feeling hollow.

The realisation that Simmons had been hiding the fact that she'd been dating someone hurt him. It wasn't only for his confused feelings and the little shocks of pain that coursed through his chest.

He thought that they were friends: she could have been honest with him.

Did she think that he wouldn't care? Or... didn't she care that he knew about it?

Either way, Fitz felt as though someone had literally reached for his heart in his chest and squeezed. Tightly.

They were friends... but he also knew that there was something unsaid between them. He thought that at some point, when he'd be brave enough to confront his doubts and fears, he'd understand and maybe, she'd be there to listen to him.

They figured out impossible things in the lab: how difficult would it be to work out their relationship? Maybe, they could give each other a chance...

Fitz now knew that it was all in his head. It had always been one-sided...

He snapped out of his daze when a hand touched his shoulder. He turned around and stared at Simmons' bright amber eyes.

He felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach and he suddenly realised that he was bound to go to the Biology dorm now.

He was going to spend the night in Simmons' room and probably the next day with her.

 

He couldn't do that.

 

It would be an unnecessary torture for him. He didn't want to talk to her now; he didn't want to listen to her explaining or admitting anything.

He didn't want to see them together.

 

He had to leave.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've managed to keep my word and finish this before Christmas! -cheers-
> 
> Thank you all for the response: I hope you liked this story and the verse that I've created. It was nice to change and go out of the usual 'world' where I have my stories. :)
> 
> I can't promise anything but... I might write about this. 
> 
> My greatest thanks to my beta StarryDreamer01 who has the patience of a saint. Did you guys read her SecretSanta story? It's awesome! Go and find her on ff.net
> 
> Anyway, here we go with the chapter. ;) And Happy Christmas to all of you! :)

* * *

 

It took Jemma a few minutes to calm herself and leave the restroom.

When she walked back into the Boiler Room, she heard some cadets talking and gathered that it was snowing hard and that if it got worse, there was a decent chance that the flights would be canceled.

Jemma had delayed her own flight home despite her parents’ desire to have her back early once she told them about the cancelled course only because she didn’t have the heart to leave Fitz alone. And she didn’t want to be away from him for more time than expected; two weeks away were more than enough. 

The thought of having her flight cancelled, the possibility of not going back home and the vivid image of her parents’ sad faces were balanced by the possibility of staying at Sci-Tech and spending Christmas with Fitz.

Maybe she was a horrible daughter… but she didn’t mind the second option.

With those thoughts in mind, she found herself walking through the crowd to get to Fitz. The Boiler Room was less crowded than before but it still took her a few minutes to get to him. She found him at their table and reached out to call him, sure that he was waiting for her.

“Fitz? Did you hear about the storm? And of the fligh-?”  Her eyes widened when he turned around. “What's wrong?” She asked, moving her hand from his shoulder to his arm. His face was strained and pale and he looked away from her but she managed to catch the hurt look in his eyes. Concerned, she moved to look at him but he stepped back, freed his arm and picked up his jacket.

“Nothing,” he said curtly and walked toward the door.

Jemma stared at his retreating figure and felt a wave of panic wash through her. She hurriedly picked up her coat and handbag and rushed after him.

She had left for  _ five  _ minutes: what had happened?

“ Fitz...” She called but he didn't seem to hear her. “Fitz.” He walked on. “ _ Fitz _ !” She reached for his wrist and tugged him to stop behind a pillar as people walked past them next to the exit. “What-?”

He abruptly shook her hand away and she stopped talking, stunned by the action, and felt a bit hurt. He’d never done that before.

“Fitz?”

He looked at her and she felt another wave of concern as she saw how upset he looked. His eyes seemed to range through a variety of emotions.

“It doesn't matter,” he mumbled and moved to turn to the door but she stopped him, stepping in front of him.

“ No!” She said. “It  _ does  _ matter. You’re upset. What happened?”

He stared at her and Jemma felt as though she was being pierced by the intensity of his stare.

“Your boyfriend or whatever you call him came to talk to me,” he said quietly.

Jemma stared at him.

“ _ What? _ ”  She asked, flabbergasted. “What are you talking about? I don’t-”

“You don’t have to keep on lying, Simmons. You know what? It’s not even my business: you can date whoever you want. Just don’t get me involved or use me.”

“ I didn’t lie to you!” Jemma realised that her voice had rose a notch but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to hear that defeated and indifferent tone in his voice and she didn’t want him to assume that she was using him. “I’m not dating anyone and I’d never use you to do anything...”  _ How could he even think that? _

“Walkers says differently.”

“ Jordan Walkers?  _ He  _ talked to you? And you believed him?” Did he really think so little of her? Didn’t he know her at all? Jemma felt anger spike through her veins. “Oh Lord… that git. We’re not together and never will be. He’s just obnoxious and-”

“I don’t care: it’s not my business.”

Jemma felt her heart crack at his dismissive, flat tone. He didn’t care… at all?

She felt the anger whoosh out of her, replaced by a hollow emptiness as tears pricked her eyes.

“Then why are you upset?” She whispered, fingers gripping her coat tightly.

 

-.-

Fitz stared at her.  
  


Why was he upset?

 

She really didn't know, did she?

 

_ I don’t want to think about you with someone else. _

_ I don’t want to imagine you kissing some other bloke. _

 

Fitz clenched his fists and felt a wave of emotions course through him as he looked at her. He could see the sheen of tears in her eyes and felt guilt stab him in the chest.

 

_ I can’t let you know that I’m falling in love with you...even though I desperately want to. _

_ I don’t want to lose you. _

 

He swallowed dryly.

“You know why…” He whispered back.

 

_ But I’m too late now… _

 

“I’m going back to my dorm. See you, Simmons.”

 

He didn’t wait for her to answer and rushed out of the exit door.

 

-:-

 

Jemma was too stunned to realise that he was moving. When she managed to shake herself out of her stupor and wasn't nailed to the spot by the intensity of his stare, Fitz was already out of the door.

And then she realised what he said.  _ His dorm? _

“No... No, no.. Wait!” She hurriedly put on her coat and ran, her boots skidding on the wet, slippery pavement. She almost literally froze when a icy gust of wind hit her body. It was snowing heavily now and there were at least, five centimetres of snow on the ground that would surely increase.

Jemma looked around wildly, trying to see Fitz but she could barely make out shapes through the white icy downpour. She felt a wave panic invade her body.

He was going to his dorm: dorm that was probably empty and in lockdown without heating.

She reached for her phone inside her bag, cursing the cold that was numbing her fingers; she hadn't even bothered to put on her scarf and gloves and she felt the chill seeping into her body.

It didn't bother her as much as the hollowness spreading in her chest.

She called Fitz, his number the first on her  favourites list and waited: the line was wavery but she heard the ring.

Her heart twisted when the ringing went on and on and he didn't answer. He  _ always  _ answered her calls. And he was deliberately ignoring her now.

  
And all because...

 

_ You know why... _

 

...he’d misunderstood.

  
He had looked so upset: she couldn’t shake the look on his face out of her mind. She couldn’t help but feel a wave of pain as she remembered his words: he thought that she’d been using him.

Did he think that their night out was just a ruse to -what? Get Jordan’s attention? Did he think that she didn’t care for him at all?

Jemma felt ill at the thought. The empty gaze in his usually bright eyes haunted her.

She had to find him. They had to talk.

That was the problem between them: They could talk about anything and ramble for hours about science and experiments but when it came to them -and their emotions- something happened and they just stopped being FitzSimmons.

It had never been an issue: they had always managed to go on despite the little area of unsaid things between them.

They were best friends and she was sure that they were both aware of the depth of their relationship. She had always been aware that she felt something more than friendship for him but she never tackled her feelings to understand them.

She thought that she could have time to figure them out and maybe understand if he had similar thoughts too. She thought that she’d have time to gather her courage and see if he might see her as she saw him.

Jemma didn’t think that she’d be suddenly in the position where he exposed his feelings (because his words and his pain clearly told her that he felt more too) and thought that she didn’t care.

She cared. Oh Lord, she cared for him more than anything else.

She had to find him and they had to figure this out immediately. She had the clear feeling that if they didn’t sort this out soon, something would crack and break between them.

Forever.

Jemma wasn’t going to allow that. Panicked, she called him again and when he didn’t answer, she numbly wrote him a few texts.

In her frenzy, she didn't realise that she'd been walking outside the entrance of the Boiler Room in a half open coat, holding her handbag and scarf in her hand.

“Jemma?” She looked up and saw Caroline staring at her as she came out of the Boiler Room along with some friends. “What the hell are you doing out here? And dressed like that? Are you planning to freeze to death?”

“I- Oh... yes- right,” Jemma slipped her phone inside her coat's pocket and quickly wrapped her scarf at her neck. Then she automatically pulled the device back out and checked the screen. Her heart sank: still no messages. Caroline approached her, waving her friends to go on, and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, what's wrong?” She asked, concern lacing her tone. “And-” She looked around. “Where's Fitz?”

Jemma felt a lump in her throat and couldn't answer clearly. She realised that she didn't know how to answer either.

Fitz had left in a hurry and his only words were that he would be going off to his dorm. Would he really be there?

She felt Caroline’s stare and knew that the girl was worried but she couldn't bring herself to look up. She looked at her phone again: still nothing.

“Hey, are you going back already?” Jordan appeared at the door, holding a bag. “Say Caroline? Can you take this to the guys setting the projector in our dorm? They must have left- Hey, Jemma! There you are! I've been looking for you. I even asked your lab part-”

“ Stay  _ away  _ from me,” Jemma hissed, turning fully to him and feeling fury lace her veins. Jordan's eyes widened in surprise and she felt Caroline’s hand grip tightly at her shoulder.

“Hey... relax,” Jordan said slowly. “I didn't-”

“Don't talk or say anything to me,” There was a part of Jemma's mind that knew that Jordan didn't know what damage he'd done but the other part was angry and just wanted to get release. “Leave me alone.”

But then Fitz' troubled face came to her mind and she felt every emotion seep out of her leaving her numb again.

Without saying anything else, Jemma walked past Jordan and headed to her dorm, threading through the blanket of snow on the ground and shivering under the cold wind.

“Jemma!” Caroline rushed to join her and she stopped for a moment, seeing the concern in her eyes, before walking again. Then words just spilt out of her mouth and she told her everything as they reached the building.

She didn't let her emotions get the best of her despite the desperate need to allow herself to cry. Caroline seemed to understand because she let her talk and didn't speak until they'd made it through the throng of people that were crowding the hallway and were near their rooms, doors open.

“Look, Jemma,” the blonde said softly. “It was just a misunderstanding. You'll figure this out: you're FitzSimmons.”

“But what if we don't?” Jemma asked softly, voicing a fear that she'd been having from the moment her best friend had walked away from her.

“You will. You care for each other. Hell, I'm pretty sure that there's a lot more between the two of you if you only stopped to think about it. It's so obvious that you love Fitz: anyone can see it. And it's pretty obvious that he loved you back otherwise he wouldn't have gone off like that.”

Jemma was going to protest when Caroline held out a hand.

“ Listen, Jordan's an idiot and yet he somehow managed to mess with Fitz. He wouldn't be so hurt, thinking that you have a boyfriend if he just saw you as a friend. And you  _ know  _ that I'm right.”

Caroline’s green eyes were fixed on Jemma as she mulled over her words. She still had doubts and fears but there was a small part of her that nodded in agreement, accepting her words as the truth that she'd always known.

“ You clearly don't see him as a friend. Otherwise  _ you  _ wouldn't be so upset that he misunderstood everything.”

Jemma didn't answer and just stood by her open door.

“You'll figure this out,” Caroline said again with a smile. “I've been teasing you two for months and I know that you'll get together. You just need a push in the right direction... Well, Jordan literally kicked you towards each other now but it will be alright.”

“He doesn't want to talk to me,” Jemma whispered, holding the phone in her pocket tightly.

“Well, he's a guy and he's probably moping. He'll figure out that he's being an asshole and he'll call you. Once the storm's over, you'll talk. If you don't, then you'll talk after the holidays.” Caroline smiled again. “It will be alright.”

Jemma nodded slowly, feeling numb for the cold and her fears and then went inside her room after bidding goodnight to her friend.

She honestly wasn't in the mood to join the other cadets in the impromptu party downstairs.

She took off her coat and scarf and sat on her bed, fingers curling around her neck to steady her nerves. She sat there, mulling over the thoughts for a while.

Her feelings for Fitz had always been confusing but right now, she realised that she had fallen in love with him somewhere during their friendship.

Their working in the lab as partners, the moments they’d spent studying or enjoying each other's company and all the time they spent together had led her to care more and more for the silent (when he wanted to be), seemingly grumpy (he was but he was also so kind and sweet) and brilliant Scottish engineer.

When her care had changed to love she wasn’t sure,but it had happened.

And tonight she had had the revelation that it wasn't one-sided.

 

_ You know why... _

 

He'd been feeling the same way. He had had her same doubts and fears and probably didn't know how to deal with the confusing feelings that filled his heart.

Fitz cared for her as much as she cared for him. The thought brought a little smile on her face along with a pleasant tingle in her chest.

Her eyes fell on the backpack by her desk and she blinked.

It was Fitz's bag.

She got up and took the bag, opening it to see its contents. She found what she expected: a change of clothes and his pyjamas, his toothbrush, a few notebooks and books and his external hard drive where he stored all his films and tv show episodes.

He had planned to watch something with her on her laptop tonight. It was a routine that they had every weekend.

She didn't want to lose this.

If they didn't fix this now, there would be something off between them. If they didn't manage to see each other before leaving for the holidays, all the unsaid things between them would just grow and distance them.

And in the best of cases, they'd just ignore the episode and go on as though nothing had happened.

Jemma didn't want someone else -some other girl- to come and steal his heart. She didn't want someone else to take him away from her.

It had taken her months to make him notice her and only a lucky chance had allowed their gazes to meet. She didn't want to rely on chance again.

Jemma wanted to do this herself.

She'd be honest and tell him what she felt. And there was a solid possibility that he felt the same.

She realised that she could be wrong... but, for once, she didn't want to think about the consequences.

Fitz was worth the risk. At this point, she'd rather risk than lose him altogether.

Checking her home for the last time and biting her lip at the lack of response, Jemma quickly made up her mind.

She put on her coat, scarf and gloves, took her phone and Fitz's backpack. Without further thoughts, she opened her door and left.

 

If Fitz didn't want to see her, she'd go to see him.

 

-:-

 

Fitz didn't really know how long it took him to get to his dorm. He just walked allowing muscle memory to guide him more than sight as he scrunched through a thick layer of snow, head down to avoid the flying snowflakes.

He was used to snow: winter could be awfully bitter in Glasgow and he had been surprised more than once by a storm on his way back home. He knew how to navigate in the white scenery without getting lost along the way.

He was glad that his body seemed to know what to do on its own because his heart and mind had gone numb and he didn't know how to get them to work properly again.

He couldn't get Walkers’ words out of his head and they sent shocks of pain through his chest.

And he couldn't wipe Simmons' teary expression out of his mind.

There was a part of him that wondered if he'd just misread everything between them, wondering if he'd just allowed his confused feelings(not  _ that  _ confused anymore though...) to cloud his judgement and see things differently than they were.

He might have fractured his relationship with Simmons with that outburst and sudden exit. She was not stupid: she must have understood why he was so upset at the thought of her being with the older boy. He had blatantly showed her that he was jealous and more or less confessed that he had non-platonic feelings for her.

 

He might have ruined their relationship permanently.

 

Fitz swallowed a lump of emotion that had lodged in his throat and shivered as a gust of icy wind hit him again. He recognised the entrance of his dorm and rushed forward, finding his keys in his jacket pocket and went inside.

He belatedly realised that he'd left his backpack in Simmons' room along with his night things. He ran a hand through his snow matted hair, curls damp and ruffled and sighed.

If the storm kept up like this, he wouldn't get it back until the day after tomorrow when he was meant to go home. He'd have to go back and get the bag, see her, talk to her... He honestly didn't know how to face her without mucking things up again.

Or he could just leave his backpack there and get it after the holidays. He might have gathered his wits in two weeks and come up with a valid excuse for his behaviour.

Who knew if she still wanted to talk to him after tonight...

The thought alone sent something piercing through his chest, making it hard to breathe.

It had taken him months to dare to look at Simmons in the first place; even longer to talk to her. If it hadn't been for Doctor Hall who had paired them up during a lab, he'd probably still be figuring out what to tell her so that she could be impressed by him.

He had wanted them to be friends so badly.

How could he have just messed this up? Why did he have to go and fall in love with her?

The dorm's hallway was dimly lit by the emergency lights. It seemed that the heating had been turned off and the temperature was almost as low as it was outside.

Fitz never heard the dorm so quiet. He thought about the Biology dorm, probably bustling with people and chatter and felt his heart clench.

He could have been there with Simmons... They could have been having a good time together and enjoyed the mindless life of the Sci-Tech cadets for once, without being the genius kids who studied all the time.

He probably ruined her night too.

He knew her: he knew her better than anyone else. He could imagine her trying to figure out his attitude, trying to understand him, while Garner ( _ or Walkers _ , he thought bitterly) talked to her, reassured her and coaxed her to join the party.

God, he was an idiot...

Sighing again, Fitz walked up to his room, shivering as the cold air seeped into wet clothes. He got inside his room, miraculously tidy for once since he had packed most of his things in his suitcase to go home. He realised that Simmons had told him to pack early and tidy up so that he wouldn't have to do everything last minute. And even though he had complained, he had done it.

He'd do anything she asked him. She was intertwined with his life so deeply. What would he do if she decided to just... leave?

Fitz didn't want to think about it.

He got his phone out and blinked when he saw a dozen alerts. Shedding off his coat, he slowly went through the string of texts and missed calls. All from Simmons.

Her words were pleading: she asked him to answer her calls, to tell her if he was alright and....  _ 'Please, don't shut me out, Leo. Please, talk to me.' _

Warm relief flooded his body as he saw that she still cared. She rarely called him by his given just as he seldom called her Jemma. They had both -silently- agreed to go with their surnames as a way to be accepted by the older cadets. It made them feel older and less out of place.

Her texts got more and more frantic as the time passed. He realised that it had been more than a hour since he'd ditched her at the Boiler Room and she must be worried sick.

Feeling guilty, Fitz quickly wrote a few texts.

 

[Simmons – 1:27]: Sorry, I just got to my room: I didn't see my phone. I'm ok. I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?

[Simmons – 1:28]: I'm so sorry, Jemma... I messed up.

 

Fitz was aware that he his apologies weren't enough but he had to tell her something. He wanted to make her understand that he didn't want things to change between them.

He realised that he'd rather suffer through a constant heartache than allow Jemma Simmons to leave his life. He'd rather love her, unrequited, than be without her.

He had been rash tonight, taken back by surprise and hurt; he had allowed his emotions to take over rather than his mind.

Fitz took a deep breath and decided that he needed to sort out his thoughts clearly. He couldn't do anything now but he could find a way to fix it in the morning.

He could call her or dare to walk to her dorm and work this out. He just needed to come up with the right words: that was something that he was always bad at doing. He rarely knew what to say and he always mucked things up when allowed his mouth to speak on it's own.

Tonight was a rather fitting example.

He glanced at his phone and saw that Simmons hadn't replied. He sighed but realised that he couldn't expect her to forgive his departure and silence easily.

He promised himself that he'd find a way to fix this mess.

Feeling tired and cold, Fitz went inside the loo, wanting to take a warm shower, change into dry clothes and possibly sleep for a few hours. He needed to rest if he wanted to find a solution.

 

-

 

Fitz woke up suddenly and looked around the dark in confusion. He heard the wind howling and was slapped in the face by the chill of his room, so unwelcoming compared to the warmth beneath his duvet and blanket.

He heard his phone's ringtone and realised what had woken him up from his hazy dreams and restless sleep. Fumbling to get his phone from the bedside table, while turning on his lamp, he blinked at the screen through sleepy eyes.

Simmons was calling him.

And it was almost three in the morning.

Concerned and more than a little nervous, he took the call.

“Simmons?” He said, voice low with sleep and slight anxiety. “What-?”

“Fitz! Oh, good, you-” He couldn't hear her well: her voice was low but he could clearly make out her relief. The line was filled with noise: a whooshing sound that resembled wind and the occasional cracking of bad signal. Where the hell was she?

“Where are you?” He asked, sitting up straight.

“Ope- door-”

“What?”

“ _ Open _ \- door!” Her voice came out loudly all of a sudden. “Outside- your dorm!”

It took Fitz a few minutes to understand. His eyes widened as he automatically rose to his feet.

“ You're...  _ outside _ my dorm?” He repeated slowly and looked out his window, through his curtains. It was dark but mostly because snow had caked his window in a thick layer.

It must have been snowing heavily for hours now...

 

And Simmons was standing out there.

 

“Bloody...” Fitz swore and dashed out of his room. He ran down the hall, heavy socks skidding on the floor and nearly tripped down the stairs as he hurried to get to the main entrance.

_ What was she thinking?? _

He almost wrenched the door of its hinges and was hit by a sharp gust of icy air and snow. His flannel pyjamas seemed to be made of thin air and the chill seeped into his bones.

Simmons was standing there, covered in snow and he could barely make out her face through her scarf and hat.

Fitz reached for gloved hand and dragged her inside before slamming the door shut. His heart was thundering in his chest as he turned around and fully realised what had happened.

“ Have you gone  _ mental _ ?!” He exclaimed, his concern for well being outweighing his own fear to talk to her. “There's bloody blizzard out there! You could have-” His fingers clenched into tight fists and he looked at her, taking in her appearance.

She was still dressed in the clothes she had when they went to the Boiler Room. Good for a normal winter night but completely and utterly useless under this sort of weather.

She was standing there, covered in snow and completely silent. He also noticed that she was carrying his backpack. Something inside his chest cracked.

Was this some sort of goodbye?

Did she want to get rid of him as soon as possible?

“Sim-” He started to say but she moved forward, dropping his bag on the ground with a dull thud. Before he knew what was happening, her arms were around his neck and she was hugging him tight.

Fitz froze for a moment, completely taken back by her action and barely noticing that the snow on her was melting and getting over him too. His arms hung limp at his sides as he didn't know what to do.

“Don't do that again, Leo,” He barely heard her whispered words against his ear. Fitz tried to look at her but her face was buried in the crook of his neck. He felt her fingers' tighten at his nape, wet wool cold against his skin. Her face was icy too and in contrast to her warm breath.

“I'm sorry, Jemma,” he whispered softly, moving a hand up to rest on her back. “I-I was just-” He stammered, unsure on what to say. He had to be careful because his words could change everything between them. He had to apologise and make her understand that he'd acted rashly. He had to downplay his emotions but not make it seem like his feelings for her were a mistake (even though there was a part of him that thought so...).

He had to be careful because she was the most important thing in the world for him and he'd rather hurt himself than hurt her.

It was only then that he noticed how much she was trembling against him, her lithe body wracking with shudders. For a moment, he was worried that she was crying and that would be terrible because he wouldn't know what to do.

But he didn't feel anything against his neck more than her icy skin and occasional breathe. And then he realised that she must have been outside in the cold for a while.

His dorm was a good ten minutes walk from hers. But under this weather? It would have taken her no less than half an hour.

Simmons had been under a blizzard just to get there. No wonder she was shivering.

“Bloody hell, Jemma, you're like ice... You must be freezing,” he whispered, untangling her arms from him. She didn't reply and he felt his concern spike up a few notches.

Without waiting for her consent, he took off her hat and scarf, snow falling down in wet splatters to the floor. She seemed to realise what he wanted to do and fumbled with the buttons of her coat but her hands were shaking.

“Let me do it,” he said and quickly undid the line of buttons and helped her out of her coat, realising that the wool was heavy with snow and was sopping wet. He dropped the garment on a nearby chair in the hallway and turned as she peeled her gloves off and rubbed her hands together.

She was still trembling and he could see the blue tinge of her lips under the dim lights. Fitz was worried that she'd fall ill if she didn't get warm soon.

He took her hands in his and rubbed them together, trying to get some warmth in her icy fingers. He had done that in the past, when she complained about his body heat while she suffered the cold.

He had often marvelled on how her fingers were smaller, more delicate and her bones finer compared to his larger, rough hands. He often wondered on how their hands fit together and quickly dispelled the train of thought that was unfitting for two friends.

But he couldn't help to think about it as he held her hands in his now and his heart stuttered in his chest when she moved them, fingers clasping through his, so that they were intertwined.

He looked at her and saw her amber eyes trained on him, bright even under the dim lights. Fitz didn't dare to talk, scared that he might shatter whatever was still salvageable between them.

He took a tiny step forward so that he was closer to her and could almost feel the chill of her body.

“You... You have to get warm, Jemma,” he said softly, moving his fingers along hers. “I-I can make tea. Or.. or you could take a hot shower. I'll lend you some of my clothes. They...they won't fit you, obviously but... but they'd be dry.”

She just stared at him and he felt as though he was made of glass, completely transparent under her scrutiny. He couldn't run away from this now.

He had to man up. He was going to talk when she beat him to it.

“It was last year,” she said softly.

“What?” His confusion must have been evident because she cracked a small smile.

“We didn't know each other yet... You were ignoring me while I tried to catch your eye and be your friend...” She played with his fingers, brushing her thumb over his knuckles. The intimacy of her touch made his heart twist. “I was lonely... So when Jordan asked me out, I accepted without thinking too much.”

“Simmons-”

“It was just a couple of dates. I quickly realised that he was a git.”

“You don't have to-”

“ I  _ do  _ have to explain, Fitz.” She looked up at him. “I don't want you to think that I'd be using you... our relationship as a means to-”

“I shouldn't have said-”

“It wasn't. I'd never-”

“ _ I know _ ,” He reassured her, tightening his grip on her hands. “I know, Jemma...”

She smiled slightly and he stared at her.

“I'm sorry,” he said again and she blinked at him. “I... I shouldn't have said...” He wondered what he was apologising for.

His outburst and leaving her behind? His rash assumption that she hid a relationship from him?

His feelings for her...?

Her eyes bore into his and he couldn't help but feel that he couldn't apologise for his feelings. He'd fallen in love with his best friend who was beautiful and brilliant and the best person he knew.

Who in their right mind wouldn't fall for Jemma Simmons?

He took a shaky breath and let out a weak chuckle.

“I really messed this up, didn't I?” He asked, looking at her. “And you were thoroughly mental to walk through a snowstorm to come here. It could have been dangerous...and now you're stuck here with me until it stops.”

“I would do it again if I had to do,” she replied, gaze steady on him.

“Why?” He had hurt her... She shouldn't be giving him a chance. She should be mad at him...

Simmons smiled softly and stepped forward, their clasped hands between them. Something in her eyes made Fitz's heart thump loudly.

“You know why...” She whispered, tugging him slightly so that their foreheads touched. He was suddenly enveloped by her perfume, the floral hint of lavender familiar and intoxicating as always.

“You should know why...”

A little seed of hope grew in his chest, dispersing the gloom, and he smiled. Jemma smiled back.

  
-:-

 

Jemma left the loo feeling human again.

She had had a hot shower that had dispersed the chill that had seeped into her bones. Fitz had lent her one of his pyjamas as her clothes dried next to the heater in his room.

Despite his slim frame, he had broad shoulders and longer arms and his pyjamas' top flopped awkwardly over her thinner body. She had to roll the sleeves a couple of times so that she could see her fingers and the drawstring of the bottoms were tied as tightly as she could but it still hung loose on her hips.

She was sure that she was a rather amusing sight to see.

When she walked into Fitz' room, he looked up from his chair and stared at her. He had two cups of tea on his desk: he must have brewed downstairs in the common kitchen.

Despite the dim light of his lamp, she could clearly the softness in his eyes and she felt her heart flutter. She smiled and sat down on his bed.

“Here,” he said, handing her a mug.

“Thanks,” she whispered and took a sip. He always made her tea perfectly: he always put the right amount of milk and sugar.

“You look better,” Fitz stared at her over the rim of his mug.

She smiled slightly.

“Less blue...?” She teased and his lips quirked up slightly. They drank their tea in silence, listening to the wind making a ruckus outside. Jemma was glad that she wasn't out there anymore.

The moment she had left her dorm, she knew that the usual ten minute walk would take a lot longer. Despite the cold and the doubt that she might be doing this for nothing, that Fitz might just shut her out, she decided to take the risk.

And it had been worth it...

She stole a glance at him. He wore dark blue pyjamas and his hair was a curly mess; he sipped his tea but she could see the tiredness creeping out of him, his eyes seemed to be too heavy to stay open. She looked at his alarm clock: it was almost four o'clock. She was aware that they'd both been up for almost twenty hours.

They needed to rest and then... they'd talk. About them.

Quickly draining her tea, Jemma placed the mug on the desk and took his out of his hands when she saw that he'd finished too.

“We should sleep, yeah?” She said, looking at him. “We need some rest.”

Fitz blinked at her and she saw his eyes flicker to her and then to his bed before a blush coloured his cheeks.

“Er..right,” He stood up and scratched the back of his head. “I-you..” He took a deep breathe. “You take the bed. I'll put some blankets down on-”

“Absolutely not,” Jemma said immediately. “You can't sleep on the floor.”

“I'll be fine with a layer of blankets.”

“It's freezing in here!” It was really. She felt goosebumps rising where the room's chilly air hit her exposed skin despite the electric heater in the room. He glanced at her and blushed again, rocking slightly on his feet as he looked around the room, trying to find another solution.

She sighed softly and reached for his wrist, wrapping her fingers around it. His eyes snapped back to her, questioning and surprised.

“We... We've already done this before,” she said, feeling a little seed of doubt in her chest. Was he re-thinking his words?

“ Yeah...” He whispered, looking at her with a shy glance. “But, it's different. It was...  _ before _ .”

Jemma bit her lip and gently ran her thumb on the inside of his wrist, caressing the smooth skin and feeling his pulse strum under her finger.

He was nervous and agitated just like she was: her heartbeat matched his. And he was still trying to be a gentleman with her; the thought that prickly and complain-prone Fitz was willing to sleep on the floor rather than his own bed just for her sake made her smile slightly.

And warmth spread out in her chest.

“Is it really different though?” She asked softly and his blue eyes fell on her again. “It's still us. We haven't changed.”

“Yet,” he said and she nodded.

“ _ Yet _ ...But it doesn't have to happen now. We're both knackered and we need to sleep.” She looked at him, blushing slightly. “We don't have to do anything...else.”

He stared at her and she felt the blush darken on her face. Somehow, he seemed less flustered than her and smiled. Her heart thought that it was a great moment to flip in her chest.

“ Alright... But are you  _ sure  _ that-?”

“ Yes, we're  _ both  _ sleeping in the bed, Fitz.” She tugged his hand, bringing him closer to her. She leaned forward and bumped her nose to his jaw. “It's freezing here and you're warm: there's no way that you're staying away from me.”

“Oh, so that why you want me then?” He drawled as she moved them to the bed. “You need your personal heating source?”

“Yes,” she replied, grinning and he rolled his eyes good naturedly.

She arranged his sheets and covers and slid under them. Fitz followed suit after switching off his lamp. For a few moments, they just stayed on their sides, trying to get comfortable.

Jemma slept on her side, facing him and she could barely make out the outline of him in the dim light coming from outside. He was on his back, hand under his head and looked slightly tense.

Sighing through her teeth, Jemma sunk on her pillow, hoping that a night's sleep would allow them to see things clearly. She suddenly felt exhausted, all the events of the day -and mostly of the night- getting to her and making her eyes close.

“Goodnight, Fitz,” she whispered.

“Goodnight, Simmons,” he said softly and she heard him move. Then she felt his fingers graze her hand and slowly -tentatively- entwine with hers.

She smiled in the dark and clasped his hand.

 

-:-

 

Fitz didn't fall asleep immediately and he spent some time, lying there on his bed and looking at the ceiling. He dared to turn around after taking Simmons' hand only when he heard her breathe deeply. He could see the outline of her face, lips curved slightly and hair fanned on the pillow and around her. Her hand was stilled holding his and he smiled.

He'd been so wrong in his judgement and it might have broken them. He could have broken them.

But she didn't allow it. She had come here, despite the storm, to explain.

 

She wanted him back.

 

Simmons moved slightly and he saw her shiver. She was always terribly cold all the time and she slept with a heavy-knitted blanket on her bed over her comforter for cold winter nights.

His duvet was probably too light for her.

Swallowing slightly, Fitz moved towards her, gently tugging her hand so she slid down from the pillow and then leaving her grip. He rearranged his limbs around her: one hand behind her head, one around her shoulder and their legs lined together.

She unconsciously snuggled against his chest and he smiled, pleased.

He could get used to this...

What was he even talking about? He'd love to spend his nights like this.

She moved again and he saw her eyes flutter slightly, one bleary eye peeking at him.

“Leo?” Her voice was sleepy and he smiled bashfully and allowed his hand to slide down from her head to her spine.

“Is this okay, Jemma?” He asked softly, not wanting to overstep any boundary between them.

She blinked.

“You rarely call me Jemma,” she remarked, curling her arm around his waist and sinking further into his chest.

“Oh..yeah... well...” He stuttered and she laughed softly. His heart did a somersault in his chest.

“I like it,” She whispered.

“I like it when you call me Leo too,” he admitted sheepishly. Having Simmons call him with his given name made him oddly content.

“I'll do that more often then...” She hummed and moved against him, face buried against his neck.

He ran his fingers up and down her spine, smiling at the soft, almost purring sound she made. He suddenly remembered the words she’d said when she’d arrived and stilled his movement.

“Jemma?”

“Hmm?”

“I didn't ignore you at the beginning, you know?”

“Wha-?” She moved back and stared at him, eyes a bit clearer now. She looked confused.

“Before we were partnered by Doctor Hall in the lab...” He cleared his voice: he had to make her understand. “I-I wanted to impress you, say something smart and all... but I didn't find anything.”

She stared at him and he almost ducked his head into her hair.

“Sorry, I never meant you to think that I didn't want to talk to you but I didn't want to mess my chance to be your friend...”

Her hands moved up and wrapped around his neck. Their position and her proximity made his heart thump in his chest: the whole thing was incredibly intimate.

“I really wanted us to be friends too,” she said. “So I didn't... insist too much when I saw that you ignored me. When we were paired together, I kept working and just hoped that at some point-”

“-I'd realise that we were great together?” He finished with a smile.

“Yeah...” She chuckled. “I realise now that we were both spectacularly dense.”

“Well... that sort of hasn't changed much, has it?” He said with a grin and she laughed. “All sort of assumptions have led us to be snowed in my dorm.”

“And it also led us to talk, clear out some misunderstandings... and be here,” She leaned forward until their heads touched. “It also made me realise that... It's always been you.”

Fitz hummed softly, heartbeat rising, and moved a hand to cup her cheek. She looked at him through her lashes and then surged forward.

Her lips brushed his softly and he had time to return the pressure slightly before she moved back.

Jemma's smile was radiant, a slight flush colouring her cheeks and he felt the last bit of hollowness that had been residing in his chest melt away.

“Well... I know that now too,” he whispered, moving down to peck her lips. “It's always been you for me too.”

She snuggled against him and he grinned, holding her in his arms.

“We should sleep,” he said. “Given the time now, we won't be up until the afternoon.”

“Well, we don't really have any place to go, do we?” Jemma asked. “Or do you have plans?”

“Since we're stuck here, I was thinking about watching films, Dr. Who all day and have lots of hot chocolate.”

“Hmm...that sounds good but I'd also slip in a couple of these-” She kissed him again. “-as well.”

“ Oh.. yeah...  _ sure _ ,” He nodded eagerly and she laughed, moving to kiss him again.

 

Maybe, being snowed in had its perks...

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post chapter two before Christmas, I promise.
> 
> Please, leave a comment. :)


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